If you're looking for a blog with meaningful content on the important issues of the day, you've come to the wrong place. This is the shallows, my friend. Nothing but shallowness as far as the eye can see. Let someone else make sense of things. I like it here.

About Me

My photo

I love my grown children, miss all the dogs I ever had, and I cry at the drop of a hat, I believe in true love, destiny, fairness, and compassion. If I could be anywhere right now, it would be the ocean. My favorite city is New York, but I am always longing for London and craving more time in Copenhagen. I'm drawn to desolate places, deserted buildings, and unknown byways. I don't care how society perceives me as long as my gut tells me that what I'm doing is right. I am interested in paranormal things, spiritual things, historical things, and things that glow at night. I like to drink, I smoke when I write, I can't stand small talk, and despite my quick temper, I would rather kiss than fight. I'm selfish with my writing time, a spendthrift with my love. My heart has been broken so many times that it's held together with super glue and duct tape. The upside is that, next time, I won't be tempted to give away what I no longer have to give. But I will let you buy me a Pink Squirrel.


Not that there's any weight to it...

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


Yep, it's been a while. A whole year,  in fact. Heartbreak and the ensuing depression have kept this formerly passionate blogger silent all this time. But guess what? I'm getting ready to make a comeback. I'll be taking it slowly at first, but just give me some time and I'll do my best to make it worth your while. In the interim, I want to thank all those who have continued to visit this blog and read my old posts. Thank you! I'll be posting again soon. So, let's keep in touch, okay?

 See you in a week or so. Until It's summer!

Saturday, April 6, 2013


This will be the last post I'll be making for a while. In the midst of recovering from cancer surgery, my heart has been unexpectedly broken and I just haven't the energy to continue with this blog at the moment. I apologize for not having made my "Happy Birthday, Aries!" post as promised, but this Aries is neither happy nor concerned with birthdays right now. Thanks for reading my posts. Continue visiting to read old ones if you like. But I will be taking time off from active posting for as long as it takes to feel like I have anything worth saying again.


Wednesday, April 3, 2013


Hello, Shallow's Creepy Mannequin Photo Wednesday, and so we are going to get right to it. No lines, no waiting. Just creepy mannequin heads being used as outdoor planters (genuis!) and mannequin bodies being used as lamps (illuminating!)....and so...

Great use of mannequin heads (and who isn't always looking for ways to recycle old mannequin heads?), but i don't think I would sleep well behind those walls, always wondering if one of the heads was watching me from outside. Well, not the head so much as its eyes. But you know what I mean.

I actually think I would be okay with these mannequin lamps. It's mannequin faces with those painted-on eyes and their fixed stare that send shivers of creeped-outedness racing up and down my spine. I like hands. In fact, I have a friend who used to work in the movies, and she had a pair of mannequin hands she "absorbed" from a movie set that she used as towel holders in her bathroom. I didn't mind them at all. And speaking of hands...

I hope you'll come back to check out my Happy Birthday Aries post, which should be ready for perusal later today. If you're an Aries, you might find it very enlightening, and if you're not an Aries, but know someone who just might find it useful as well. And if you happen to be a boyishly handsome Libra whose initials are P.W., I'd just like to say that...

Not to blow my own (ram) horn, but I think we finally found the perfect balance today. Hands down. And up...and down again. (See? I told you we were speaking of hands, didn't I? An Aries never lies. We just get a little distracted sometimes on our way to the truth.)


Tuesday, April 2, 2013


Does this blog make me look fat? Never mind. You'll just lie anyway. Besides, this blog might be dedicated to all things shallow, but I'm not as shallow as you might think from some of the posts I write. This is just a little heads-up, actually. A head and torso reminder to check in with me for Creepy Mannequin Photo Wednesday and my upcoming "Happy Birthday, Aries" post. And how come Aries gets a happy birthday post when I never so much as mentiond Pisces and Aquarius and all the other signs of the zodiac when it was time for their birthday cake? You get one guess. That's right. Say hello to your hot-headed, red-blooded Aries blogger and anti-surname activist, Greta. And so now that we've settled that bit of business, you are free to go. Just remember to check back in tomorrow for creepy mannequin photos and Aries obscura, including, but not limited to interesting sexual predilections and obsessions of people born under the Sign of the Ram. Heads up regarding the latter: you have no idea the lengths to which an Aries will go to please someone they deem worthy of their passion. But it's all in tomorrow's post. See you then...same ram time, same ram station. Seriously. I'll be waiting.


Thursday, March 21, 2013


Marshmallow Peeps. You know 'em, and if you have any sense at all, you loathe them with every fiber of your being. What am I talking about, you ask? Why do I feel such enormous hatred for a marshmallow candy shaped like a chick or a bunny and dyed artificial shades of yellow, pink, blue, and green? Okay, I'll tell you. It's the eyes, damn it. As much as I hate marshmallow, as much as I detest the annoying cuteness that compels people to buy them in the first place, it's the eyes that send me over the Easter candy aisle edge. You see...those eyes...those round, black eyes embedded inside the marshmallow faces of the Peeps sitting in boxes on your local grocery store shelf right this very minute....are insoluble.

There. I said it. Now you know...and you can never, ever go back to not knowing. All you can do is let me explain exactly what it all means...for the Peeps, and for you. No matter what you do to Peeps...immerse them in boiling water, drench them in phenol (yes, phenol), or dunk them in sulfuric acid (yes, sulfuric acid), their eyes will not dissolve. It takes the Peep a long time to dissolve on its own, but if you keep working at it, you can eventually make the Peep go away. But even though the Peep is gone, its eyes will remain.

Of course, all of this begs one singular question: what the hell are Peeps eyes made of anyway? The answer is carnauba wax. Also known as Brazil Wax and palm wax, carnauba wax comes from a palm plant called Copernica prunifera which grows only in northeastern Brazil. Sounds innocent enough, doesn't it? Even somewhat exotic. Sure, it does...until you find out that carnauba wax is used for a lot more than Peep eyes. It's a main component of car waxes, furniture polishes, shoe polishes, dental floss, and many cosmetics. Carnauba wax is what gives those products the ability to make things shine. That's all well and good since most people don't eat furniture polish or lipstick. But they do eat Peeps. And I've never seen anyone spit out those glossy black eyes. Do you see what I'm saying here? Or do the words "Soylent Green" mean nothing to you?

Maybe you think I'm making this whole thing up because I want everyone in the world to hate Peeps as much as I do. I only wish that I were. But the insolubility of Peep eyes is a cold, hard fact, brought to light in 1999 by two scientists at Emory University, who performed a battery of tests on countless Peeps before reaching their disturbing conclusion. What's even more disturbing is that, here we are, thirteen years later, and no one seems to care. People are still eating Peeps and taking pictures of them doing stupid things. Like this...

And this...

They don't realize, or maybe they just don't care that the Peeps they find so precious and adorable are harboring insoluble eyes. And if Peep eyes can stand up to sulfuric acid, think about what happens when they hit your stomach. Nothing. They just sit there. Every tiny black eye from every yellow, pink, green, or blue Peep you have ever eaten is still down there in your stomach. It floors me. It should floor you, too. But for some reason it probably won't. We have the facts, we know the score, and one cares.

I don't know why Peeps and their insoluble eyes have such a hold on our society, but they apparently do. And I'm just one person, and there's only so much one person can do to beat back the sugar-coated scourge that we know by the innocuous name of "Peeps." Sure, I'll keep telling people about the eyes. I'll stick to my vow to never buy Peeps, either for myself (that's an easy one) or for anyone else. And I'll send links to Peeps eyes insolubility websites to everyone I know every Easter. But what it comes down to is...what are you going to do about it now that you know the truth? Shrug your shoulders and eat another Peep? Or take a stand? The choice is yours. Make the right one. Say "No...a thousand times...No!" to Peeps and their insoluble eyes. And always remember: Marshmallow chicks might go down easy, but once they're in, it's a hell of a lot harder to get a Peep out of you.



If you celebrate Easter, you've probably already made tentative plans for the holiday, such as whether you'll be attending church (you should), what you intend to do afterwards (toasting the new pope comes to mind), and, most important, what you'll be serving for dinner. Because, let's face it, when it comes to celebrating Easter Sunday, religious observance is only one half of the equation. The other half is all about food. There's the candy, of course: chocolate bunnies, creme-filled eggs, and those godawful Peeps. (Who in God's name actually likes those things?)

And then there's Easter dinner: ham, asparagus, and that quivering Jell-O mound with whipped cream on top. There are variations, naturally. Some people opt for roast lamb or pork instead of ham. Some prefer to bite the head off a chocolate chick instead of a chocolate bunny. But the basic theme is pretty much the same from household to household. If you happen to live in North America, that is. That's right. Surprise! There are actually places in the world where people celebrate Easter sans ham and Jell-O and...shudder...Peeps. And I'm here to tell you about some of them. So, let's start off with a gooey little concoction known as the "butter lamb"...

Isn't it cute? And it's made entirely of butter, which also makes it dangerous. But cholesterol concerns aside, the butter lamb is an essential part of Easter dinner in the homes of Polish Catholics, as well as in some Russian and Slovenian households as well. And there's a definite protocol involved when it comes to eating it. According to tradition, the tail has to be consumed first, then the body, and, finally, the head. If you happen to be the one eating the head, you might want to watch out for the peppercorns that represent the eyes. They can be pretty crunchy. And if the thought of sculpting your own butter lamb leaves you feeling a little daunted...don't worry. You can always buy a ready-made one at your local deli and pretend that you did it yourself. Who's going to rat you out? The Easter Bunny? Speaking of which...

While chocolate bunnies might be an Easter mainstay in most western cultures, in Australia, basket-toting rabbits made of chocolate aren't quite as popular. Seems that real rabbits have wreaked so much havoc on the Australian environment that a little marsupial known as a bilby has become the preferred image when it comes to Easter chocolate. The Foundation for Rabbit-Free Australia first introduced the bilby as an alternative to the traditional Easter bunny in 1991, and the concept has been steadily gaining ground ever since. There are even Easter Bilby books and stories to go with it. None of which makes any difference to real bilbies, who, unlike real rabbits, are on the endangered species list. But if you're not into chocolate bilbies or rabbits, you can always try your luck with duck...

Baby ducks, that is. Embryos, to be even more precise...and disgusting. But, hey, I don't make these things up, I just blog about them. And the fact is that, in the Philippines, the idea of boiling fertilized duck embryos in their shells and eating them is considered absolutely normal. Not to mention yummy. Known as balut to those who love it, this macabre little delicacy can be served plain or with seasoning (garlic and vinegar is highly recommended) and is usually accompanied by a beer (I'd need an entire six-pack and a blindfold). The creepiest part of balut consumption (to me, anyway) is that no balut afficienado worth his or her salt would even think of eating one until the duck embryo was at least 17 days old, at which point the feathers, beak, and claws have started to form, but the bones are still soft, making it easier to chew them. But if the thought of eating duck embryos makes you sad (and not just sick), you'd probably be better off eating your Easter meal in a country where ducklings (ugly ones anyway) are allowed to turn into swans instead of balut. Yes, I'm talking about Denmark, whose inhabitants celebrate Easter with a traditional lunch instead of dinner, the most important component of which is...

No, not mermaids. Don't be silly. Mermaids aren't real, and even if they were, they're half-human, which brings up all sorts of ethical issues when it comes to eating them. But the Danes have no such problem eating fish, especially herring, as part of their Easter lunch. Slathered on dark bread and washed down with a good beer, herring is as popular at Easter time in Denmark as it is at Christmas time and on any other major or minor holiday. True, the traditional Danish Easter lunch includes other dishes as well, such as roast lamb and eggs, but herring...pickled,fermented, or the one dish that Danes would miss if it wasn't there. But what else would you expect in a country that is basically an island in the North Sea? For those of us who aren't especially enamored of fish, it's fortunate that the Danes are equally committed to brewing excellent beer.

Well, I could go on, obviously. But sometimes less is more, and in this case, I've decided that it's true. I hope you enjoyed this brief peek at what some other people in the world will be eating on Easter. And I hope you enjoy whatever you choose to include on your menu. (I just hope it's not those damned Peeps.)


Wednesday, March 20, 2013


It almost got past me, but with only a few minutes left to go in this Creepy Mannequin Wednesday, I'm here to post not one...but two...creepy mannequin photos. Yes, friends, it's a double feature this time round. Just my way of saying "the show goes on".....because it does. And so, with no further ado, feast your eyes on two examples of what can happen when mannequins become the focus of someone's idea of "art". Calling it "creepy" doesn't even begin to cover it.

Until next time...skol!